


sunflowers and soft yellow paint

by preciousuga (alexscarlet)



Series: the baby boy seungcheol agenda [1]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Anxiety, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Gender Identity, M/M, Mental Health Issues, References to Depression, Self-Esteem Issues, Supportive Boo Seungkwan, seungcheol is the prettiest baby :'), seungcheol n vernon are my soft boys whom i love very much
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-09
Updated: 2018-05-09
Packaged: 2019-05-04 09:44:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14590287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alexscarlet/pseuds/preciousuga
Summary: seungcheol loves painting vernon's nails.





	sunflowers and soft yellow paint

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by conversations w sien <3

today, vernon has chosen yellow, lemon pastel yellow.

 

he said he chose it to reflect the steady transition of spring into summer, but seungcheol has a sneaking suspicion it might be because yellow is seungkwan’s favourite colour. they’re sitting on his bed in the afternoon light; well, seungcheol is sitting, cross-legged, and vernon is lounging back, propped up by his pillows, like he’s a prince or something. seungcheol doesn’t mind though; he likes pampering people, and vernon is always willing to be doted on. dipping the nail polish brush into the little glass bottle, seungcheol focuses back on vernon’s left hand as he paints the nails carefully. while he works, seungcheol muses on the brevity of this spring: winter lasted forever, and now, suddenly, without them realising, summer has snuck up on them.

 

it seems ridiculous that five months of the year have passed already. the frenzied, sleepless, endless days of the new year seem like only yesterday. if he closes his eyes, he can remember instantly, with a dreadful clarity, the insomnia that had haunted him at the time.

 

he accidentally paints up over vernon’s cuticle, getting yellow on his skin.

 

“hm.” says vernon mildly. he’s scrolling through spotify on his laptop, careful not to smudge his already-painted left hand. he’s pushed his hair back with a headband, which always makes him look really handsome, and somehow soft too; a tuft of his fringe sticks up and seungcheol smiles at it.

 

“sorry.” he says, then blows air over the hand resting on his bare knee.

 

“no worries. want me to paint yours when we’re don-“

 

“ _vernon_! i’ve been looking all over for you.” seungcheol jumps at the sudden interruption but luckily the brush is securely back into the pot, the lid closed. he moves the bottle onto vernon’s bedside table, though, just in case.

 

“oh, really? you didn’t message.” vernon draws his eyebrows together in a confused frown, pausing the soft jazz music that had been playing and looking at seungkwan with a mix of bewilderment and concern.

 

seungkwan groans as he flops belly-down on the other side of the bed to seungcheol, then tucks his nose into vernon’s thigh. vernon gives the top of his head a pained look, like he wants to play with seungkwan’s hair but can’t because of his still-drying nail varnish. seungkwan remains unaware, shifting to get more comfortable on the bed.

 

“i did message.” seungkwan grumbles after a moment. vernon taps at his laptop, reads the message, then makes another pinched facial expression.

 

“do you-“

 

“not really. just. distract me. i don’t know. i need company, i think.”

 

seungcheol hesitates, then reaches across vernon’s lap to pet seungkwan’s messy hair. vernon shoots him a grateful look and seungkwan sighs, snuggling closer, pressing his forehead against vernon’s leg. knots in the muscles of seungkwan’s back relax.

 

it’s a bit of an awkward position for seungcheol to stay in - seungkwan is just a little out of reach, so he has to lean slightly to be able to reach him properly - but he resigns himself to the discomfort. it reminds him of his grandmother’s cat; like most cats, it was always torn between disdain and seeking comfort. maybe, seungcheol thought suddenly, cats always sit a little bit out of reach so that when you bother leaning over to pet them the action means _more._ it’s not a mindless response, it’s a conscious decision to put yourself in a vaguely uncomfortable position to give them the love they’re hesitant to ask for.

 

seungcheol can understand that.

 

he can understand, too, how seungkwan is feeling. or, maybe not exactly. after all, seungkwan has been struggling with depression for about four years now, so his “i need company” might be a different kind of need to how seungcheol experiences it.

 

sometimes, though, they’ll stay up late talking, just the two of them, and seungcheol will find himself relating to the musings seungkwan puts forward a bit too much.

 

he doesn’t want seungkwan to think he’s jumping on the mental illness bandwagon, though, and he’s the oldest, and he doesn’t want to worry people. even though he _knows_ that seungkwan would never feel that way; god knows that since he’s managed to speak up about his mental health problems and ask for help, seungkwan has been the most vocal advocate for therapists and tackling stigma and encouraging the others to come and talk to him. when seungcheol mentioned his insomnia, seungkwan had only been supportive; the perfect mix of ‘me too’ and ‘this is about you’. still. seungcheol is probably just over-reacting. he tends to do that a lot.

 

“what were you doing before i interrupted you?” seungkwan mumbles. he sounds a little sleepy, which seungcheol thinks is a good thing; hopefully he’s more relaxed, feels comfortable around them.

 

“i was painting nonie’s nails.”

 

seungkwan raises his head - seungcheol withdraws the hand that was stroking seungkwan’s hair - and vernon shows him the neatly painted nails. “oh, pretty.” seungcheol smiles proudly. “i love yellow. looks good on you.”

 

vernon blushes, then grins with his gums on show. it’s real cute.

 

“i’ve still gotta do the top coat.” seungcheol remembers.

 

shua had bought vernon the base and top coat for christmas, under jeonghan’s guidance, and seungcheol can still remember the way vernon’s face had lit up when he’d pulled them out of his stocking. he smiles to himself as he rummages in their big box of nail polish to find the bottle he needs.

 

“why don’t _you_ ever paint your nails, hyung?” seungkwan asks, moving to rest his head on vernon’s tummy; this way he can see seungcheol easier, without having to crane his neck to peer over vernon’s body. vernon shifts to get more comfy, then squints cautiously at his left hand before burying it in seungkwan’s curls once he’s decided the nails are dry enough.

 

seungcheol flushes pink and focuses on applying the top coat to the nails on vernon’s right hand. “um. i just don’t think it would…suit me?”

 

seungkwan levels him a serious look. “if you want to wear something then it naturally suits you. because its reflecting who you are inside.”

 

“is that why you dress like a frat boy from the 90s?” vernon muses. seungkwan digs his chin into vernon’s belly until the other boy whines in defeat.

 

settling down again, seungkwan huffs. “anyway, that was like, two years ago. i’ve _changed_.”

 

seungcheol laughs softly, but unfortunately that brings the attention back to him.

 

vernon untangles his fingers from seungkwan’s hair so seungcheol can paint over the nails on that hand too. “i’ve wondered about it myself, actually. i mean, i bet you’d look amazing in it, so if you’re only worried that it wouldn’t ‘suit’ you, then stop worrying.”

 

seungcheol bites his lip and doesn’t say anything for a while, even with two curious gazes heavy upon him, and then, finally, setting the nail polish down: “i’m not pretty enough.”

 

vernon winces and seungkwan sits up slowly, his expression morphing into something that looks like anger. seungcheol tries not to shy away.

 

“seungcheol,” seungkwan says very carefully, annunciating clearly and staring into seungcheol’s eyes with alarming intensity. “you’re really pretty.”

 

seungcheol can’t hide the blush this time; he goes a bright, hectic red, the colour blossoming across his cheekbones and up over his ears. “well, thanks.”

 

“no, i mean it. what do you mean you’re not pretty? how can you think that?” seungkwan has, by this point, stopped trying to read seungcheol’s mind via force of staring, and is instead just looking desperately puzzled.

 

“i know i’m _handsome,_ or at least, i know i’m not ugly. but _pretty_? i don’t really...” seungcheol fiddles with the edge of vernon’s duvet. “like, i’m the oldest, y’know? i can’t be cute and adorable and pretty and…all that stuff.”

 

“no offence, hyung, but that’s literally the dumbest thing you’ve ever said.”

 

“seungkwan.” says vernon, frowning.

 

“sorry, _stupidest_ thing.” seungkwan corrects himself, replacing the slur. “like, really, _really_ stupid.” vernon nods sincerely, clearly pleased that seungkwan recognised what he’d done wrong, and…maybe agreeing with him?

 

“hyung, you’re super cute.” vernon states. so. agreement, apparently. seungcheol wonders how on earth they got into this conversation.

 

he rolls his eyes, then smiles indulgently. “nonie,” he says.

 

vernon smiles back, but only quickly, returning to the drawn-eyebrow frown. “i mean it, hyung.”

 

“we both mean it! you-“ seungkwan interrupts himself to rein in his anger. he puts a hand on vernon’s calf; vernon has scooched up the bed to sit upright against the pillows at the headboard. they sit there, all on the bed together, in a moment of tense silence. seungcheol feels awful; just moments ago they were all content, relaxed, and now, because of him...

 

“hey, i’ve got an idea.”

 

vernon grins when they both look at him, seungcheol in worried shyness, curious despite himself, and seungkwan with a confusing mix of determination and fondness. it’s the face seungkwan usually wears whenever vernon comes up with a good idea. he thinks he likes it so much because other people just seem surprised, as if they doubted he had that sort of capacity for deep-thinking and problem-solving within him. maybe he just likes it so much because it’s seungkwan.

 

either way, vernon is smiling when he says, “we’re gonna paint your nails and for each nail we’re gonna tell you something we think is cute about you.”

 

seungcheol flushes, shoulders hunching up, “oh, no, it’s-“

 

“ _vernon_ , you’re a genius! an actual genius! god, that’s so cute. _we’re_ so cute. i love this. what colour do you want?”

 

seungcheol’s tummy is doing this twisty thing, like snakes have suddenly decided to take up residence in his intestines.

 

“uh…” he says quietly, overwhelmed.

 

“what colour, hyung?”

 

“um, yellow?” seungcheol mumbles weakly. he catches vernon’s eye and vernon gives him this super fond and wide grin before going back to blowing at his fingernails, desperately trying to dry them quicker so he can help paint seungcheol’s nails. _paint seungcheol’s nails_.

 

he doesn’t even know why it’s such a big deal. it’s not a big deal. it’s not like he’s worried about being emasculated by it.

 

(if anything, he’s worried that he’ll like being more feminine too much.)

 

(only that’s a thought he’s never let himself think.)

 

only now seungkwan is pulling out the yellow nail polish and humming happily under his breath and vernon is um-ing and aah-ing over the box as he looks for the base coat, and seungcheol is being forced to think about it.

 

“do you really-“ he blurts out, before he can stop himself.

 

seungkwan looks up at him, pausing in his preparations (it’s not that intense, seungkwan, he wants to say). then seungkwan gives him the softest smile. so often seungkwan’s smiles have a kind of false edge to them, a slight bitterness, a hint of self-deprecation even when he’s supposedly having fun. this one, though, is radiant. like seungcheol is the sun and seungkwan is a sunflower, one that has bloomed beautifully and now follows the sun; as if to share with it the beauty created by its warmth and light. “yes, hyung. you’re so cute. and pretty. your lips - they’re so pouty all the time, i’m stressed - and your smile and your cheeks and your laugh and. oh shit, we haven’t even started yet.”

 

seungcheol laughs gently, feeling a bit like he wants to cry.

 

vernon mumbles something; seungkwan elbows him. he holds up the base coat. “i said: let us take care of you for a change.”

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> thank u for reading! comments n kudos keep an author going <3 im pretty nervous cos this is my first svt fic so i'd really appreciate some love :')


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